We also have a birthday girl in our midst (see Supermama’s post), only this kid is now eleven. (And I ask myself, well…how did I get here? Letting the days go by…)

I have been reading lately—for many years, actually—of no-presents birthdays, and I am here to tell you, in case you feel guilty about your acquisitive child, that we have never done a no-presents birthday. My kids won’t allow them. The concept is popular among some of Leah’s peers—they have asked for, instead of presents, donations to the Whatcom Humane Society, Animals as Natural Therapy, and various other local causes. All noble, all inspiring. And for awhile, I felt a little guilty that my kids always refused this idea.
 
And then I started really thinking about birthday presents because I suspect some of these parties—and the charities selected—are parent driven and that not all kids take to this idea on their own. And that’s too bad. I, for one, don’t want my children to feel ashamed of wishing for presents. Birthdays are for kids to celebrate, to be celebrated, to feel celebrated, and for most kids over age two, there is nothing more quintessentially celebratory than presents.

If you feel bad that your child has not hopped on the charity wagon—and believe me, it’s loaded these days—think about it from the young guests’ perspective. Birthday parties give them an opportunity to put forth their good-friend qualities and think beyond themselves. It gives them an opportunity to, well… give, and after all, isn’t that what we want our children to learn? How to give? Better, how to give with grace? In turn, the birthday child learns and continues to refine the skill of expressing thanks. A laudable goal. This weekend I watched my eleven-year-old express true appreciation for each gift she received and say thank you to each guest. Not once did I have to remind her to say it. I can tell you she did not have this skill perfected at age three or five or even seven. But I think we’re there now.

So I say go forth, celebrate with presents, and feel good about it. It’s only once a year, after all, that your child gets to feel this special. And the other kids will learn something along the way.